actually, I'm a sock model
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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