i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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