This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize