I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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