i just had sex bonerless
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
