i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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