i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
