I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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