I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I color on your dick again?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
