ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
