the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
