he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
