So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize