whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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