bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
