Me too!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
