____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
