i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
