Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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