Cold hands, warm shart.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
