I love black thongs
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
