ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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