Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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