Barsexuality is the new black.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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