i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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