Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
