Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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