If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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