Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
