the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just high enough for therapy.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
