Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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