So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
