ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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