I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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