so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
