So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
