i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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