You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
