thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
