Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're a waste of cheezeits
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize