Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
