me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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