Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
