At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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