If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
