she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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