im about as happy as oj after his trial
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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