Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
