Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
