your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
