I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
