there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
