my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
