And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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