Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
