I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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