I think i peed on brittanys purse
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
