I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
