Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
