why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
PANTIES FOUND
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