Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Randomize
