Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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