you turned your livingroom into a bong?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
